yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
