I feel like abortions should bother me more
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
