i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
