theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
