You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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