ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
