Are we in a gay sports bar?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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