i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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