CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
