Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
