So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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