Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
only you would photoshop your dick
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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