I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
