we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i would punch a child for taco bell
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
