have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
