I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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