god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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