so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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