With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
