Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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