Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
