I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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