Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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