I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
