Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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