so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
