hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
