So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
