yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
