rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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