is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My life is pants optional.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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