I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
