she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize