Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
