I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
