Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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