Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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