I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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