Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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