She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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