Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
