Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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