O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
