i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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