Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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