shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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