i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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