i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
