i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
