Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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