STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
