How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize