3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
