Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
