it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize