Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
