And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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