Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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