You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
